Five years ago tomorrow, Westmont College was consumed by a raging fire that took acres of land; buildings, vegetation, trees, history – and no human lives. None of us who were there were ever the same after that, including the campus itself. Several weeks later I wrote the following as a note on my Facebook page (I didn’t have a blog yet, and notes were cool). For some reason it feels fitting on this anniversary of the Tea Fire to share it here. Even though I haven’t worked at Westmont for almost 3 years, I still miss chapel.
This past Monday, we had a behemoth of a chapel. (Wiki: “Behemoth is the largest and most powerful animal ever to exist. Metaphorically, the name has come to be used for any extremely large or powerful entity.”) If you’re on Facebook you most likely don’t live under a rock, so I’m going to assume that you know about the fire a few weeks ago that scorched more of our institution than you’d believe unless you were here. Monday we set up chapel like Baccalaureate and had firefighters, trustees, neighbors, community members, families, faculty, staff, students, police, alums, babies, and at least one dog come join us for worship. Wise words were said, standing ovations were given, stirring anthems were sung. It was classic Westmont, in the best sense of the word. Touching, inspiring, hopeful, true.
Today, Wednesday, was the first “normal” chapel. I put “normal” in quotes because I’m kind-of tired of everyone talking about “getting back to normal” like it’s this totally desirable destination and naturally anyone with any common sense at all would hightail it over there asap. I personally think there’s a lot to be said for the locations known as just friends, over it, and my personal favorite, denial. Anyway.
Today’s chapel was not normal, for a few reasons. First, Ben Pateerson was finishing his series on the 7 Deadly Sins by talking about sloth (go look that up on your own; I’m too lazy, HA). He totally nailed it. Also, we were doing the first part of the recording for the Chapel CD which comes out in the spring, which meant microphones were everywhere.
People seemed kind of nervous at first, I think because of the mikes, but soon we loosened up. And then there was The Moment. Any of you who have ever been in a Westmont Chapel know what I mean. When the music and the lights and the people coughing (quietly, today) and the other people PDA’ing or studying or texting just fades away, and you feel like time stands still and all you know is the worship. I don’t really even want to try to describe it because it is different for every person, but for me it happens when I least expect it; it sneaks up on me from behind and before I know what’s happening I’m like all in the midst of the glory and I can hardly breathe. And that’s what happened today.
Monday’s chapel was kind of too much for me; in big dramatic situations I tend to turn inward and not react hardly at all to what is being presented to my senses. There is often so much to respond to at once, it’s like I shut down. I don’t totally know what it is that makes me do that; maybe I feel like I have hit my emotional stimulation threshold, or maybe I am just so afraid of what will happen if I let myself feel the magnitude of the moment, but I never seem to feel things when everyone else does, and then “it” always hits me later, at a usually much less convenient moment. My wedding day was like that. Kind of a bummer.
But today, today was when the reality of the past few weeks came together and I felt myself so deeply moved by the hearts of the students. This generation loves to sing their worship, and it was like once they got going they wouldn’t–or couldn’t–stop. Their hearts had been waiting to express and release these emotions and it all came rising up and out in one powerful voice. I found myself fighting back tears when we got to the words:
So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
Our God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We’re singing for the glory of the risen King……Jesus
These students have been, in a literal sense, purified by fire. They have all been affected in different ways and to different degrees, but no one will ever forget the past two weeks. Even I, as vehemently allergic to drama as I am, can’t deny what we have been through as a family.
As a family. If Monday felt a little like Christmas, with all the relatives coming from far and wide, bringing luggage and expectations and hugs and many, many generous gifts, today felt like Sunday dinner. Today we weren’t trying to impress anyone, or particularly caring about what we looked like or how we came across. There were no television cameras or guests or printed programs. We were just us, in our flip-flops and Westmont hoodies, coming to the table together, saying thank you.
Thank you, Giver of all good gifts.
Thank you for saving our lives.