A few months ago, I couldn’t sleep. And it wasn’t because I wasn’t sleepy. I was tired- real tired.
At first I thought it was because I had been reading Jon Carryrou’s book “Bad Blood,” about Theranos, the multi-billion-dollar startup founded by Elizabeth Holmes.
Then, I realized that it was because I was still thinking about a meeting I’d had earlier that day.
A decision was meeting resistance. Confusing communication, awkward timing, grouchy people. The usual.
Leaders were worried. They wanted to fix it- to do something NOW. It wasn’t acceptable to wait and see. Waiting felt passive; like sitting around, twiddling thumbs, not being “proactive” or “solution-focused”. Something needed to be done, as soon as possible.
So we’re at this meeting, trying to solve this problem. Part of me wondered if the current situation was less a “problem to be solved” than a “tension to be managed,” as Andy Stanley says, but that’s another topic. I listened to others toss out various ideas– “we could put together an e-learning and post it online;” “We could send out an FAQ, or tip sheet, to everyone;” “What about an in-person workshop;” etc. Of course, we decided to move forward on all of these suggestions, simultaneously. *face palm*
Laying in bed that night, I realized that it wasn’t that I disagreed with the options- any of those could work. And let’s note how awesome it is to work with such responsive leaders, who listen and hold themselves responsible to employees. Truly top-shelf individuals here.
The issue for me was that I really didn’t care if we pushed something out online or offered an in-person option or dressed up in clown costumes and walked around giving people hugs and ice cream sandwiches and paper brochures with balloons and flowers.
What I care about is that sometimes I think we get so focused on finding the “silver bullet”- the one thing that we think will solve all of the problems at once- that we forget that there aren’t always silver bullets to be found for everything. Some things need more than one thing. Not everything needs a bullet. The clarity we seek is not always available; certainly not in one form that will work the same on everyone at every time in every situation.
Maybe some people would be happier with something they could go through online, at their convenience. Others may be more satisfied with the chance to get help sitting across from a real-live person. And, some people are really scared of clowns*.
We need to beware of getting so myopic and perfectionistic that we make the situation worse, not better, by our insistence on looking for the silver bullet.
So, what DOES help people in times like this?
The answer is my second-least favorite answer. (The least favorite answer is: “It depends.”)
My second-least favorite answer is: Time.
I’m not saying that time is all you need; that if we just give everything time, all will be well. Time is not the silver bullet.
Time gives space, though. Time allows people to breathe. Time puts room between this change and the next change and the next and the next.
When I talk to people who are drowning in change, and I use words like “season” or “phase” or “stage” – it’s like I can see them visibly relax. They begin to realize that where they are right now, as painful as that is, is not necessarily a permanent situation. Things may never be the way they were before, and they may feel emotionally like they are trapped in a burning building or in the middle of an American Ninja Warrior course, but they won’t always feel like that. Nothing lasts forever; this too shall pass.
Breathing slows. Posture changes. Non-verbals become more open. It’s not as black-and-white as we thought, There are options. There are alternatives. There are choices.
No silver bullets, but lots of other possibilities.
*Me.
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