Get yourself a High Council of Jedi Knights

*This post is a pale imitation of an original version written by Pam Slim here. Please give her all the credit for this profound idea.

Don’t you ever have moments in your life when you wish that you could “use your lifeline” and call upon others who are uniquely qualified to help you in a certain situation or decision?  I sure do.

Remember the scene in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace when young Anakin Skywalker walks in to the room where all the decisions are being made? The room where the Jedi Council meets? One can immediately sense a spirit of trust and community and common goals. There’s an almost palpable feeling of purpose and potential in this half-circle of mentors, teachers and other authority figures deliberating and making decisions with weight and wisdom.

There’s a similar concept in something author Parker Palmer calls a “clearness committee”, which originated from the Quaker tradition. Essentially what he describes is a group of people who sit and listen to you share about whatever decision or choice you are facing, and then when you are done they are allowed to only ask questions; no comments, observations or statements allowed.

I’ve talked to people a lot about the importance of mentors in the context of being a student or learner and looking up to a certain professor or a senior staff member.  But when you want to do something bigger and more comprehensive, like identify strong inner passions, or radically change something in your life, you need to think bigger. You need a High Council of Jedi Knights.

This wise council is made up of people you respect, admire and see as symbols of who you want to be when you grow up.  They don’t have to be powerhouses, movie stars, or old in age, they just need to be highly evolved (however you define it) in life.  This group is in addition to your immediate family, who obviously also plays a huge role in supporting and encouraging you.  Another clarification: This group is not your six besties from college who commit to meeting every summer for the rest of your lives to catch up about how you are doing. That is something different; a posse, a tribe, a safe space.  Instead, a High Council is where people have permission to tell you how it really is, straight up. Not necessarily a place that holds your hand and dispenses encouraging pablum, but a good, true and pure environment where you are challenged to grow up to your potential, however uncomfortable that may be. It makes a huge difference to not be making these bigger decisions alone, and even your closest pals aren’t always as objective or as experienced as others may be.

Here are some suggestions on how to get your own High Council*:

• Notice the kind of people in the world that get you really excited.  Are they authors, artists, doctors, computer programmers, spiritual figures?  Mentally scan through your bookshelf and determine your favorite books.  Examine the blogs that are at the top of your RSS reader.  Note the kind of people that really interest you when you read about them in the newspaper or watch them on television. (One caveat; please don’t pick musicians. Or at least pick them very carefully. John Mayer will probably not actually help you accomplish anything significant in life, even if you are both “Waiting on the world to change” together).

• Pay attention to how you feel when you think about these people. Some smart people have lots of knowledge but make you feel a bit inferior when you read their work or interact with them.  If you pick people you feel debilitatingly self-conscious around, you will defeat the purpose. Choose individuals who are definitely smarter than you but who have that special gift of making you feel smart when you are around them. One friend of mine just selected people he really looked up to and wanted to have as friends; after two years he had cool friends but still no momentum to his life. To avoid this, maybe imagine that you are in a critical stage of your journey and you feel really awful.  You want to cry and give up.  Who would immediately make you feel stronger?  Who has faced a similar challenge and moved through it with success?  Who would be kind and loving while at the same time push you harder than you are comfortable with to live up to your highest potential?

• Ask:  Do they use their superpowers for good? Someone can be brilliant, charismatic and accomplished, but how are they using their life?  In Star Wars terms, do they lean towards The Force or The Dark Side?  Are they involved in activities that solve problems, heal wounds, increase happiness and bring people together? Or do they practice shameless self-promotion, intrepid personal advancement, and narcissistic dealings with others?

Imagine yourself as young Anakin Skywalker stepping into the quiet circular room of the High Council of Jedi Knights.  Picture entering that room and seeing the group of people you respect most in the world, individuals who are totally on your side, who care enough to give you a straight answer and support you in your efforts. As you look at the faces of your wise mentors, don’t you feel better?  Doesn’t it make your task of getting a certain job or having that hard conversation or making that decision a bit more like a spiritual quest? And isn’t it, really, in the end?

So let’s go. Start by writing an e-mail to the people you identify (max of 10) and ask them to join you in this specific and powerful way. Trust me; if they deserve to be selected, they’ll be honored. Post a comment or e-mail me and I’ll send you a prototype of a message you can adapt to your personal situation.

May the Force be with you.

*Adapted from post by Pam Slim, human extraordinaire.