Hit Your Stride

My friend Hilary Dmitruk has a really small mouth. Ask her; she’ll show you the minimal circumference. Also, we tested its smallness through multiple games of “Toss the peanut M&M” when she was a college student and I her advisor. Since then, Hilary has learned to use her mouth- and her voice- to speak hope and encouragement in a few different languages. Her guest post this week is some of that for you.

Self leadership is a lot more like my life as a runner than I realized.  Until yesterday.

I started running seriously the summer before my freshman year of high school.

That was 13 years ago.

I signed up because Cheryl, the assistant coach and a woman who attended my church told me “if you run, you can eat anything you want whenever you want.”  That was enough for me.  What I didn’t know then was that I would actually have to learn how to be a runner.  Sure, I could run.  But being a runner is an entirely new way of life.  You have to eat right, stretch correctly, warm up properly, do strength training and learn correct form, how to pace yourself and how to overcome the mental block that creeps in on every run.

Despite what some may say about running not being a sport, it is hard.

You’re often out on the course by yourself.  Some days the weather is perfect, your body feels good and you could run forever.  Other days, the heat is debilitating or your legs feel like bricks and all you want to do is stop.

No matter the day, our coaches were always pushing us to hit our stride: that is, our sweet spot; the pace we could run at forever, no matter the conditions.

Self leadership is a lot like running in that regard.

There are seasons in which we feel invincible.  We think we can conquer the world, and so many people often do.  But what about those seasons when we aren’t at the top?  What about the times when all we want to do is stop because the weight we are bearing is too much for one person?  What about the days and moments when all we really need or want is a small push from behind from a fellow runner, whispering, “keep going” through their stifled breaths?

It’s during these times in life – the times when we feel that we can no longer take another step – when we find out if we have what it takes to lead ourselves. Don’t get me wrong: I don’t promote self-leadership as purely happening on your own.  On the days I could not bear the thought of taking another step on a long hard run for cross country training, one of my teammates would literally push me from behind and tell me to keep going.  And I’d do the same for them.  But we still had to make the decision to actually follow through and hit our stride so our teammates didn’t have to push us the entire run.

Most recently, I haven’t felt much like a runner.  As it turns out, to call yourself a runner, you actually have to put your shoes on, lace up and move.  My life has been full (and at times, a whirlwind) in the last 5 years: I finished a teaching credential and Master’s, taught 5^th and 6^th grade at a private school then moved to teach 4^th grade at a bilingual charter school in Santa Barbara, and finally, this summer I gave up that job I tried so hard to get just to move home to be nearer to my family.

And today as I laced up my running shoes for the first time in a few weeks (yes, weeks), this idea of leading myself hit me.  The reason I was willing to give up something I had worked years for, to leave a place which quite frankly, is the most beautiful place I’ll ever live and that I’ve called home the last 9 years:  I had been running, with some of the best teammates at my side, but I still hadn’t hit my stride.

These past 5 years have been just like learning how to become a runner.  I had to get my own experience – away from those that I know and love – and who know and love me the most.  I had to stretch myself mentally, emotionally, and often times, financially.  I had to strength train in independence.  I had to figure out my stride with dear friends pushing me from behind far too often.

After a few years of feeling on top of the world, and receiving the small whispers of “keep going” from friends, I resigned from my job, and moved back home, unsure of a myriad of things.  How long will I have to live with my parents as an independent adult?  Will I get to continue to teach?  If I don’t get a job, what in the world am I going to do with my time?  And then, a couple short weeks after I moved, I was blessed with a job offer at a local charter school teaching 5^th grade in a dual-immersion class.  I worked all summer getting my room prepared and spending all of my money on school supplies.  I had friends and family come in to help.  And I hit the ground running four weeks ago at my new school.

I’ve hit my stride.  My life isn’t perfect and I don’t expect it to be.  The future still presents multiple uncertainties.  But, I know how to teach.  In fact, I know how to teach in two languages.  More importantly, I know that no matter what the course brings, I am where I am and doing what I do because I took the time to train properly. I asked for a push now and then.  But I made the decision to move.  And here, at home, where I’ve always felt most myself, I have hit my stride.

So, go where you need to go.  Be the person you need to be.  Lace up your shoes, get outside and lead your life.

Hilary Dmitruk teaches 5th grade at a charter school in downtown Santa Ana. Teaching has taught Hilary to be more flexible, consistent, to celebrate failure and to continue learning. She loves children, being outside, running, giraffes, black coffee & no-water soy chai tea lattes, traveling and other languages. Most of all, she loves her family and her friends who know her heart sometimes better than she does and who encourage her to continue to lead her life.